How to help a family who has lost a child

I came across this blog post and found the suggestions beyond powerful! Sometimes we don't know what to do when people hurt in the most devastating ways. Here are some helpful suggestions…I especially LOVE the coordinated effort to write a letter once a week for a year…Amazing!

http://www.gracecoversme.com/2014/02/in-her-shoes-ministering-to-women-whove.html

Am I an authentic friend?

The past few days I have been in a kinda funk. Maybe more like the past few weeks. I’ve been feeling up and down emotionally…It’s one of those things where I feel disconnected from my friends (because of the distance and lack of communication)…And then two major let downs happened and that had me going back and forth in my mind a lot!

ONE of my major issues with myself has been that I have not been the kind of friend I used to be. I used to be the type of person who was unafraid to say what was on my mind. To inform others the error of their ways. To say kindly or otherwise say what was on my mind. good or bad… I was fearlessly honest. Particularly with those close to me…I was never really this way with everyone, but those nearest to my heart I felt comfortable to say what was on my mind…Even if I knew it would be a difficult conversation.

Today I struggle with that. Today I struggle with being an authentic friend. An authentic person. Consider this: You see your best friend incorrectly install her son’s car seat. You know that if they got in an accident the car seat could go flying out the window. But you struggle with offending her…Because if you say something then maybe assumptions would be made that you think you are better than her…OR maybe she may think you are thinking she is a bad mom. OR maybe you struggle with how much should I have the liberty to say. Or maybe that she simply won’t receive it well.

Life in Tallahassee

Hi Blog! WOW, is this really my first post for 2014!? Goodness gracious, time sure does fly!

I’ve been reflecting on our move to Tallahassee and some of my emotions last year as we planned for that move then vs. now. Here is an excerpt from a blog I wrote last year:

I have been on an emotional roller coaster for most of June…I have cried alone…many, many times…On my way to work…At work…At home…NOW…And I have cried together with my husband…It’s not going to Tallahassee that has me sad…Its moving away from my home in NC…It’s saying goodbye to the friends we have made…It’s going into a land of the unknown…A place that could be a desert…I have moved and had people move from my circle enough times to know that when you move people change…friendships changes…and ultimately you LOOSE a lot of your friends…It’s only natural that relationships would change…Physical presence just adds a lot to a relationship. And many people prioritize relationships with those who are physically in their space, over long distance relationships…And because I know this, I am sad because I feel like I am loosing a significant piece of my life I DO NOT want to loose…I am sad because I have felt many times ALONE in my sadness…

My life is about to change DRASTICALLY! For someone like me who loves being in fellowship with other like minded Christians I am afraid I wont find that where I go…I am afraid that when I get there I’ll be in a state of depression….I am afraid that I will be bored to death…I am afraid that I will be lonely….And really, I am most afraid of loosing the friends I have now…I know God will provide…I know that God will take care of us…and I know that most friendships are really temporary even when they seem permanent. I know people are in your lives for a season…And I know our duty is to help bless others. I KNOW THIS! And yes, even knowing this does not necessarily make me feel better…Because we are loosing something very special…

How to Help a Grieving Person and be a Good Friend

Since I moved to Tallhassee I had to opportunity to attend a grief workshop. It’s been going really well and I wanted to share some of the highlights I was able to learn. Now when it comes to grief it is natural for us to automatically think of death…But grief comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes and we ALL have experienced it at some point. Here are some common examples of grief: death, divorce, miscarriage, moving (whether you are moving, or someone close to you is moving), marriage (your marriage or someone close to you is getting married), graduation, children leaving the home (empty nesters) and the list goes on and on). It’s surprising to think that a life event that’s supposed to be happy like marriage or graduation can actually cause someone to grieve. But though it is most likely a joyous occasion, it is a symbol of change that is about to happen. Most times when we graduate, the friends and bonds that we have grown used to is no longer there. And well marriage…that changes everything! We grieve even when its someone who we never had a good relationship with…Because they were never there when we needed them and when they die we grieve because they will NEVER be there when you still need them. Whatever the situation that causes the grief one thing is for certain…we feel sad, we feel an array of emotions, and it’s tough. This post is for the friends or loved ones of the people who are grieving…

Being a New Mom: The Real Deal After One Year

So it's been about a year since I had Jayce and I must say that being a new mom is both a happy and overwhelming experience all at the same time. On one hand you’ve just experienced the miracle of life…And probably the most amazing thing to happen in your life…The love parents feel towards their child is simply indescribable. You could not have convinced me that I would have LOVED being a mommy this much!! I always said I was OKAY with not having ANY kids…But after having Jayce my cup just runs over with the love I feel towards him. All that said, motherhood, and parenthood is no joke…And not for the faint of heart! 

In the beginning you are faced with the battle of sleep depravation. As with everything, some people deal better with that than others. In my case, I was at the bottom of the pits…Sleep depravation was the WORST! People say you get used to sleeping less…LIES! LIES I SAY…ALL LIES! I didn’t get used to it AT all. Thank the Lord I have a wonderful husband who coped so much better than I did…And was super duper helpful! I would have totally lost it had it not been for him. What I want to know is, how on God’s green earth do single parents do this by themselves!!!!??? I could have barely held it together those first few weeks and I HAD HELP!!!