Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Parenting: A Burden or a Blessing?

Today I worked late and as I was driving home I was silently praying that the kids would already be asleep while wishing that I didn’t feel that way. As I drove home I grew anxious…almost dreading the inevitable…my kids, my WIDE AWAKE kids!! I tried to suppress the impending dread by replacing it with beautiful thoughts of two little people greeting me with BIG HUGS and smiles and love as they normally do. I tried to remind myself that I LOVE them to pieces…I do…I really do…I tried to imagine a peaceful bedtime with no screaming…just stories and sweet lullabies…I imagined a fairy tail, where I am transported to this beautiful land where there is only laughter and happiness, rainbows and sprinkle cookies.

Children are a gift from God. But they can sometimes feel like a burden. They take a lot from us emotionally and have the potential to suck the life force out of us. A few weeks ago Alexis put me to bed…I mean, after 2 hours of tantrums and sheer and utter emotional torture of watching my sweet darling baby go from a baby to a toddler right before my eyes I laid on my bed and cried. I was exhausted…emotionally exhausted. This is parenting.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Birthday Celebrations!

I can’t believe it has been one year Alexis has graced us with her beautiful presence! I find myself holding her ever so tightly not wanting this baby phase to end. To say that she was a good baby is an understatement! Each day I have been blessed to have her smile light up my day. Jared’s dad said she lights up like a 100-watt bulb whenever she sees me! And so she does. I look at her and she smiles…Ohhh, and I don’t want it to end. We are celebrating her today and the rest of this week, culminating with a birthday party on Sunday. I am so excited for her party and thrilled we actually have friends to celebrate with since we have only been in Miami 7 months. Even with that I see God’s blessings as we slowly build our new community.

There have been times I have felt so alone on this journey. Especially since I don’t have my mother to share these special moments with because of her mental illness. I remember sitting at a traffic light in Tallahassee a few days before Alexis was due and tears filled my eyes as I longed to have my mother…a mother… to share this journey with me…Its times like that I felt alone.