Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Seeking to be Accountable

When I started my blog, one of my motivations was to use the day to day stories of my life as a source of inspiration and encouragement to my readers. I wanted to share with you the “real me.” I wanted you to see me for who I am…My struggles, my tears, and my most joyous and precious moments. I wanted you to see that I am a real person, just like you…striving to live day by day according to the plan God has laid out for me.

I also wanted a platform to talk about marriage (one of my most favorite things to talk about!). I work very hard to have a happy home…And whatever I learn along the way I want to be able to share with you…Actually, I have been thinking for a long time that I wanted to branch off and start another blog that is specifically about marriage. For some reason (maybe laziness) I have not done so yet! But it is my hope that I can have a professional relationship/family/marriage blog. Pray for me that I would find the motivation to pursue this little dream of mine. It has been on my heart for over two years now. 

Anyway, I digress…

Earlier this year I had the privilege to teach the college girls about the topic sexual purity. In my research I came across this really profound article that truly inspired and encouraged me. Please take a moment to read!!! It speaks directly to male leaders in ministry as it pertains to fighting sexual sin. It is a MUST READ for everyone!! 

One of the things that REALLY stood out for me was the need for REAL Christian accountability. This is not something that is a regular practice amongst the Christians in my circle. As a matter of fact, this may seem strange, frightening or even weird to many. It’s not something that we are used to…Talking to someone else about our struggles…Admitting on a regular basis that we may need help. Asking for SPECIFIC prayer and not generalized pray (pray for me). It takes a whole lot of courage…and a willingness to be vulnerable to someone else to be accountable. But like the article said…The risks far outweigh the rewards.

There were several key accountability questions the author uses that I thought was perfect for someone to ask me on a consistent basis!

How are you doing with God? With your mate or the person you’re dating? With your children? What temptations are you facing, and how are you dealing with them? How has your thought life been this week? Are you consistently living for Christ in your workplace? Have you been spending regular time in the Word and prayer? Who have you been sharing the gospel with? How can we pray for you and help you?
I need this so I can challenge myself to be a better person. I have had on my heart for a long time about the need to expand my accountability to other Christian sisters. But one of the biggest things that have been hindering me was my pride. I can say that today because I realize that I have been hiding behind the mask of fear…A fear that seemingly has served to protect my pride…My image…My perfect imagine, if I may.

I have wanted to talk about something for the longest while…But I just don’t know how to bring it up. I wanted to share with you about one of my struggles…so I can seek your encouragement and prayers…your advice and your wisdom…But I am afraid…I have wanted to talk to someone…BUT I have allowed pride to stop me. I’ve come so close before…But then I turn away…

I want to pray today that the holy Spirit moves me and guides me to the person or persons I can confide in…And truly have meaningful and spiritually uplifting conversations about the realest part of our lives on a consistent basis. I pray that I would be brave enough to allow myself to be open and honest…and just allow the Holy Spirit to work through our relationship.

I know there are sisters out there I can trust…My fear is that this level of accountability is not practiced in my inner-circle…And I have not been bold enough to introduce it. But as I enter the next stage of life (parenthood)…I need this…I want this!! I want to be humble enough to accept the wisdom of those who have gone before me…And less prideful to admit when I need help or advice. I cannot do it alone…And right now I need to build my circle of accountability partners to help me be the best me.

I feel soooooooooo emotional just talking about this because I am so passionate about it…while at the same time afraid that it may never happen. But I know in my heart of hearts I can trust God to lead me…He will open the door and I just have to be brave to enter in. My husband has led the way and has taken the initiative to find himself an accountability partner. I could not be prouder and happier that he (A MAN) has done this. I continue to praise God for him and his good example of leadership. 

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