Just Because…I Love You

Written February 14, 2013

I read this devotion today and thought I would share it with you girls. Today is Valentine's day and it's soooooo easy to let it fall by the way side as just another day. We ain't got time for dat. Too much going on etc. etc. But see today as an opportunity to show your man how much he means to you. Even if it is a simple letter, text, email, or more. I know I have used the "I am just too busy excuse" not just on "special days" but on MANY days. Most times I am just tooooo tired to even lift my hand much less anything else. Ha! This devo reminded me of the simple things I would like to call "sparks" that we can do regularly...to keep the connection there. While we ladies appreciate kind gestures on an emotional level, I have to constantly remind myself about the physical gestures my husband desires. And my prayer is that you pray that I find a way to restore the "spark" within me and find the energy to do the simple things I know my husband would appreciate. After last week's trip to FL with Jayce and the stress Jayce put on us...(he was 100 times more fussy, crying etc than he had ever been in his life) we determined that we NEED to have at least one night a month (away) so we could focus on just us. So this Friday marks the beginning on that. We are going to leave Jayce home with Maxime and Jared and I will spend the night in a hotel! Thus allowing us to focus on each other and getting some sleep!!! Please feel free to share your thoughts. But pray for me as I seek to be simply desirous of rekindling the spark of physical intimacy. *sigh*

http://www.proverbs31.org/devotions/just-because-1-2013-02/

Happy New Year…OR not so HAPPY and not so NEW year

So it has been “donkey-city” years since I last updated my blog! I have had so much on my heart and mind but have not made it over here to share, vent or cry!!

So I must confess…I am a bit overwhelmed right now. You ever felt blah but didn’t know why? Or just felt sad out of seemingly nowhere…and all of a sudden!? I’m feeling that way now…

Apart from life (work, baby, sleep deprivation, baby, husband, life, visa expiring, work, job hunting, greencard application, life, selling house, moving,…etc) I think my feelings came when I looked for encouragement from the wrong place/person. Have you ever tried to encourage someone to do something simply because you really want to do it? For instance, think about studying your bible more, being more healthy, anything…Have you ever said to your best friend, family, or significant other, “Hey! I think it would be a great idea if we did such and such…” Hoping that they would respond with your same enthusiasm. When I do that…I am looking for encouragement to implement my idea…Except, I don’t want to do it alone…I don’t want to grow spiritually alone…I don’t want to exercise alone…I don’t want to be the only one trying to eat healthy…I don’t want to cry alone…I don’t want to suffer alone…etc. etc.

Mi Familia and my Pregnancy

Mi Familia

A few people have asked me if my mother is going to come up after the baby is born. I politely said no, but smiled and said my in-laws are coming for 3 weeks! If it’s one thing I can thank God for is for an amazing mother and father-in-law. They give me everything I ever desired in my own family and more. Their love means more to me than I can ever express…and I will forever be ever thankful for them.

I can’t even write this post without crying…*reaches for towel* 

I Need A Heat That Forgives

Yesterday I started to feel sad and thoughts and emotions came back in a flood. But I had to go to work…and right after work I had “ladies night.” So I didn’t have time to process until 12am when I got a chance to talk to my husband.

Tears, tears and more tears just flowed as I told him how sad I was feeling…Sad and angry with my friend who abandoned our friendship almost 3 years ago…And sad that I am perceived as this big bad wolf that people cannot talk to…To the extent where they make it wrong for me to be me. Sad that I feel misunderstood…Sad that my other friend does not really understand how I feel…JUST SAD! I didn’t know how to process these emotions…Particularly my ill feelings towards my friend.

Communication…The Lifeline of any Relationship

These feelings are raging up inside of me! I thought I had put it behind me…I thought I was not bothered by it anymore…I thought I was good…Until today…When feelings of hurt, sadness and anger, created a fury of raging emotions that has me in a bad place. Have you ever felt ill towards a “good” person but in your mind they were a bad person because of what they did to you? Have you ever felt that all the good times that was shared, the fun memories, and closeness of the relationship was trampled, scared and tainted because of what someone else did to you?

Have you ever felt so hurt and betrayed by someone that the pain feels like someone just died? Have you ever given up hope? Given up on that person? Given up on that love because of how you feel?